Kiyo Keanini
November 11, 2010
Pd. 4
Risky Business Impromptu Exam: Pro Pharmacological Treatment
Major Depression, symptoms: depressed mood most of the day, nearly everyday; diminished pleasure in all, or almost all activities; significant weight loss or weight gain; excessive or inappropriate feelings of worthlessness or guilt; suicide attempt, or recurrent thoughts of death… Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder, symptoms: She may be persistently irritable or angry, and her mood may change frequently. She may also feel fatigued, socially withdrawn, overwhelmed, unable to concentrate, or out of control. The symptoms can be accompanied by thoughts of suicide… Bipolar Disorder, symptoms: cycling moods of depression and mania-irrational elation, frenzied activity, excitability, or anger-over a period of at least a year. Excessive energy, poor judgment in social or school situations, and optimism and self-confidence inappropriate to the circumstances, suicide attempt… describes in a first-person account of Dr. Maureen Empfields(a assistant clinical professor), book called Understanding Teenage Depression. Think about if you had these symptoms, wouldn’t you want the most quick, effective cure. Well this cure is called pharmacological treatment. Anti-depressents and SSRIs are effective medication that treat depression, while therapy is not as quickly effective.
Of course, antidepressants are a type of medication that improve most emotional and physical symptoms of depression. For example they help improve mood and hopeless thoughts . A lot of physical symptoms like fatigue and insomnia and also anxiety. About two out of every three, 70%, of people dealing with depression find the antidepressants effective. They were developed as a safer way to treat depression with fewer side effects and a less chance of death when overdosed. Although they can be effective, there is a high risk when you stop taking them.
In addition, another type of pharmacological treatment that can be effective is, selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors or SSRIs. This drug is a little more dangerous than anti-depressants but still easy to prescribe safely and are effective. Dr. Empfield describes the severity of depression and the effects and effectiveness of pharmacological treatments and mentions that they do need 4-6 weeks to see results. She also says they may or may not work the same way in most teenagers and for some might not work but they do not get worse and the drugs are worth the effort involved in trying them.
To conclude, therapy is a slow process and some therapist, such as psychiatrists eventually end up prescribing medication. Though some therapy can treat depression alone, most are high suggested to be treated along with medication. It helps the to speed up the process of recovery but therapy is still very long and also takes a lot of understanding and accepting form not only the teenager but also the parents.
There are many precautions taken with certain medications but they are also found to be very effective and a faster then most other solutions. Most times when depression is at its worse is the best for pharmacological treatment. The effects of depression on teenagers really takes a toll out of them and in most cases they are willing to try the medication regardless of the side effects. While a lot of people say medication can be dangerous, all medication has some sort of side effect and after having these symptoms and side effects pharmacological treatment sounds a lot better than suicide.
Heyo kiyo :P
ReplyDeleteIntro: Good way to start your essay, listing the causes of depression. I think you should change the way you listed it. (List it like apples, bananas, oranges, and pears.) You should reread and summarize the causes because some of them are repetitive. Only list the major symptoms that occur with all the different types of depression. “Think about if you had these symptoms, wouldn’t you want the most quick, effective cure.” I think you should reword this sentence because it sounds like it should be a question. “If you were a person with these symptoms, you would want the quick, effective cure” Good job on wording your thesis, it’s clear which side you are defending.
Body:
1st paragraph: “For example they help improve mood and hopeless thoughts . A lot of physical symptoms like fatigue and insomnia and also anxiety.” I think you should remove the “and” between mood and hopeless, remove the period after thoughts and replace it with a comma, so you would be listing it. I think its good that you put in statistics, it makes your point stronger. I also think you should remove that last sentence because that sentence supports your opposing side. To make this paragraph stronger, add more about the antidepressants. Like list some of them and explain how they work.
2nd paragraph: “This drug is a little more dangerous than anti-depressants but still easy to prescribe safely and are effective.” I think you should remove this sentence because it helps your opposing side and this paragraph is supposed to be you defending your side. To make this stronger, I think you should use “quotes” from the book or things that the doctor said. “She also says they may or may not work the same way in most teenagers and for some might not work but they do not get worse and the drugs are worth the effort involved in trying them.” I think you should reword this because this also supports your opposing side.
3rd paragraph: I think for this paragraph, you’re pretty good but you need to talk more about therapy. Like what it is, how it works, and how it’s less effective than medication. Change the “high” to “highly”. Overall, good job though but you just need to add a little more.
Conclusion: Nice job on your conclusion. It sums up your whole essay pretty nicely. I think you should talk more about how therapy is less effective. Also talk more about what could happen after taking the treatment to conclude your essay.
Overall, nice job. You did really good. Just a couple more changes ☺
-Rebekah
Hey there Kiyo, I'm here to comment your essay (:
ReplyDeleteOkay, your essay has a lot of information, for example, the symptoms, the kinds of treatments, etc. I really like the introduction to your essay too. You have a unique way of stating the symptoms which would probably interest the audience. However, I agree with Rebekah that in your intro it would be better if you could just combine the symptoms since they're similar, making it more concise. And also, I think you can expand more on why medication works much faster than therapy instead of just saying "therapy is a slow process". There are some grammatical and mechanical errors. Rebekah has pointed some of them out.
Well, the last paragraph you put "all medication has some sort of side effect...." Try fixing it up or change it to this "all medications 'have' some sort...."
Overall, your essay is pretty good. Just try to polish it up by fixing up those errors etc. Okayyy, good luck! ^^
-Sharmaine
Hi Kiyo,
ReplyDeleteAs your teammates have mentioned, you have some strong reasons in your essay. They have correctly identified your pros and cons. In your organization, the cons should come first. That is because you want to end with the pros. The last part of the essay is the one that will stay in memory the longest. So start with talking about the dangers of medication for depression and end with its advantages, since that is your pro.
mrs s